Family

Remember how I mentioned in the previous post that I’m so excited about this new journey? Well, I know deep down I am, but this sadness…..this mourning I experienced in the beginning was FOR REAL. For at least the first month, I was constantly battling the urge to call Tyler every hour just to see what he was doing. (like, “what are you doing now?, how about now? and what are you doing next?”) I do remember feeling that urge initially with Averee, but as time went on, I realized she was doing okay! AND that it was okay that I didn’t know every second of their every day. I worried so much that my kids couldn’t take care of themselves without me. How did I ever believe that lie? I mean, they were both pretty independent very early on in their beautiful lives.

Honestly, Tyler is doing so much better on his own. And, truthfully, I’m just not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I know we taught them well. And we want them to thrive. I just thought maybe he’d still need me a little more. What Tyler NEEDED was a change of scenery and a chance. His battle with loneliness here was just getting to be too big of a battle. However, that battle he fought here prepared him well to be deliberate at building his community. He has set goals for himself, and just about every decision he makes is working towards meeting those goals. I guess I could learn a few things from my kids!

And maybe we have. Trae and I are quickly settling in to our new world! We just got back from a little Dallas getaway to see The Chicks and Patty Griffin. That concert was truly a dream come true event!~

The Chicks and Patty Griffin- definitely a bucket list concert!

Also, super cool to get to see Lloyd Maines on stage (Natalie Maines of the Chicks dad). He was so kind to record some steel for my upcoming album!

Shortly after this little getaway, we took off to a wedding in Arkansas and then on to Kentucky!

I hope to write more about that trip later, but for now, here are some pictures!

We learned so much about the history of bourbon, saw some beautiful places, and had such a great time. It was our first RV voyage, and we definitely ate, drank, and celebrated our new phase!

So, at now four months in to this new phase, we are more than surviving. Thanksgiving and Christmas were so much sweeter having just a tiny bit of time together. (More on all that later!)

If you’re approaching the empty nest phase, just know, it does not only get easier, it gets to be pretty fun! We even find ourselves appreciating our quiet house once the kids all go on about their lives outside of Mockingbird Lane.

So, I’ll get to my empty nest story in a minute, but first I have to share this. Do you ever think to yourself, “I need to slow down”? There have been many times in my life that I’m forced to slow down. Actually, I think EVERY TIME I slow down, it’s because I’ve been forced to. I think God has to use extreme measures to remind me to rest. I mean, I have a hard time sitting still through a movie! Is that the case with you, too? He’s very creative when it comes to getting me to shut down for a bit and re-focus. Much of the time it’s my health. This time, it’s totally different. I’m currently STUCK in Austin, Texas alone. I spent two days packing up my youngest, Tyler, and loading my truck and driving to Austin for his apartment move-in day while he is working at camp. (I’m doing this now because I’ll be gone much of August so I need to get this done this week.) Well, while we thought everything was in order for me to walk in and get his keys. That was not the case. They need two more things from Tyler before they’ll give me the keys. So, I’m currently waiting to hear from him, even though he has no cell service, no internet access, a very important job he’s doing, and no way of knowing I need him to call me. I spent yesterday evening driving around aimlessly just trying to process everything, asking myself the following questions:

How can I get in touch with him? Should I drive 3 hours out to the camp? And the much bigger question, How am I gonna leave him here In just a few weeks and drive away without him?

Well, 4 years ago I did it before. We left our little girl in Nashville, and now she’s graduating. And I survived. I thought I would literally just stop breathing, and I didn’t. And now here I am again. Feeling the anxiety. Facing my fear of living without two of my three greatest dreams to ever come true. Ugh. But why am I so sad? It’s what we want for them, isn’t it? To grow up, learn to live on their own and start their own lives. When Tyler was a little boy, he used to tell me that he and his cousin were gonna live next door to me, work at Toys ‘R Us, and run with me everyday. Couldn’t that still be the plan- except maybe, the running?

I know this about myself. I don’t easily adjust to change. I’m not one of those laid back people that just easily goes with the flow. I think that’s why I like to write songs. It’s how I process a lot of things. Just sitting here, writing this, has helped me come to terms with the fact that I just have to wait. I can either wait frustrated and discouraged, or I can wait enjoying the down time I have before a very hectic month to come.

So, back to THE EMPTY NEST- Believe it or not, in the midst of my tears, I am TRULY excited for what’s to come. It’s crazy to look back and see how fast it got here, and then at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago that my kids were babies. But, here we are. I’ve been sick for much of our marriage, and Trae and I both are ready to enjoy time together, travel, and as he would say, “give our kids a chance to miss us.” We bought an RV that I’ve been remodeling (between having Covid, and a kidney stone that had to be removed surgically) and I can’t wait for us to take our first trip. Just the two of us–well, and Gus and Otis, of course.

So, maybe you, too, are facing the empty nest. Or maybe you’re like me and just being forced to rest, to wait, to slow down and re-focus. It’s much easier for me to say to someone else, but I’m saying it and then hoping to follow through with practice…SLOW down for a minute. Take advantage of those times God provides for you to rest. Write something. Read something. Learn something new. Call someone. Sleep. Pray. Take care of yourself. My plan today-be grateful for whatever opportunities God gives me while I’m waiting.