THE HUSBAND/FATHER EDITION May 1, 2023

“Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home.”

-John Piper

Well, the dogs, chickens, and husband are all in bed. As per usual, I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to enjoy the quiet of the back porch. Other than a distant barking dog, and the occasional car or two racing by, it’s very peaceful back here. And that is ALl because my sweet, sweet husband works very hard to make sure I have beautiful places to rest, relax and heal in. He knows how important beautiful spaces are to me, and he goes above and beyond to create and maintain them. And he truly does that JUST. FOR. ME. That’s him in the picture. He’s enjoying one of HIS favorite places in the world- beside the ocean, but I can tell you, while he was there, he was contemplating a lot of things.

But tonight, he’s tired. Spent. He works really hard. His job doesn’t end when he leaves his office. In fact, it rarely shuts down. He’s always thinking. Always contemplating: every decision, every word, every circumstance, and what’s best for everyone in each of those situations.

I can only imagine that he needs these places of rest that he made for me as much, if not more, than I do, but he just can’t stop to rest until everything is taken care of. And that includes me and everyone else in his world. In fact, if he’s not doing everything he can to make sure my days are easier, or checking on our kids to make sure they’re all safe, content, and striving towards their goals, he’s talking to his business partners (brother and brother-in-law), the supervisors and managers that work for him, any of his other employees, customers, our parents, our siblings, our friends, and even acquaintances to make sure each of THEM are okay too. And WHILE he’s carrying the weight of all our worlds on his very strong, beautiful shoulders, he still finds time to answer almost all phone calls, (in fact, if it’s MY phone call, I don’t think he EVER misses it) engage with my mindless, daily ramblings, play with his dogs, or listen to my endless amounts of lyrics and newly written songs that I bombard him with almost daily. The man is a freaking saint. He’s the one my kids call almost exclusively, and I’m okay with that. They do call me, too, but I LOVE that our son, Tyler, loves his dad and they have such a great father/son relationship that we always hoped for, so he IS the one that Tyler usually calls first. I also LOVE that our first born, our daughter Averee, calls him when she needs to feel safe, loved and completely adored, or needs advice on almost anything. AND I LOVE that our bonus kiddo, Savannah, calls him often, because that’s who she needs, who she trusts with all her heart, and who she knows will rescue her over and over until her own daddy is well enough to do the same. I’m also (mostly 🙂 secure enough in the relationships with my kids to be okay with all of that. Well, and they do still check on and love their momma so beautifully! Thank you, kids. ❤

Before we even had kids, my prayer was, if we had any girls, that I would be close to them, of course, but that also they would have the most beautiful father/daughter relationships ever. CHECK. And if we had a son, that he would be able to love and respect his dad more so than any other man, with the exception of only Jesus, himself. CHECK. It took work. It took time and prayer. It took a lot of apologies and do-overs, but we worked until we got it as right as we possibly could. And while at times, it still gets messy, as life does, I can honestly say those prayers have ALL been answered.

It goes without saying that these relationships aren’t perfect. I mean, we told our kids many times that we don’t know what the heck we’re doing. We’re ALL gonna mess up. We may even take back some of the things we previously said yes to. But just know we want the best for you and us all at the same time, and mostly we just love you like freaking crazy.

So, yeah, I can tell you, we have laughed, fought, cried, gotten mad, gone silent, etc, etc. But we have found our way through. And I believe with ALL MY HEART, it is because the leader of our family knows these 3 things:

1. Who to look to

2. What truth is

3. Who/what our priorities should be

Those three simple things- that the leader of our family keeps so present in his mind every day- make us the messy, loving, beautiful family that we are. And we are mostly a family not defined by blood, the world, or everyday societal pressures or definitions, but by nothing more than LOVE. WE CHOSE LOVE. We don’t have it figured out, we just choose Love. Love the people God put in your care, your path, your vicinity and your world. I believe everything else will work itself out from there.